Movie: The Girl From Paris

French films often have the distinction of being long and drawn out.  The only reason I watch French films is because I'm learning to speak French and am working under the delusion that watching long, boring French movies will help the cause.  It doesn't, but I still queue them up on Netflix.

The Girl From Paris was okay, and presented a slice of life French countryside style.  Basically a girl from Paris decided to take up farming, particularly goat herding, and the movie makes it all seem rather idyllic except for the parts where they actually slaughter a pig and later in the movie a cow.  Blah.  Watching real animals die is not my cup of tea, so I closed my eyes until the deaths were completed.  But that's farming, right?  The girl strikes up a relationship with a crotchety old farmer and they become friends in the end.  Overall, the movie was predictable and okay, and if you're learning French this is a good one to choose, except for the two slaughter parts that I mentioned.

I think this film should be done American-style.  It could be really cute and funny.  American films (done correctly) allow for character development and would kindly omit the gory animal deaths -- even though since most of us eat meat maybe we should witness the kind of suffering we cause animals because of our flesh eating appetites.

The Triumph of Will

Only watch this film if for some crazy reason you are exactly like me and have a sick fascination about the holocaust.  My particular interest is the psychology of Hitler and how a civilized nation could fall prey to this man.  In some ways Hitler is a study of success and ultimately failure.  But his rise to power and how he abused that power is captivating.

I can't get enough, so now I'm watching every single movie made concerning that time period:  fact or fiction, American or foreign.

The Triumph of Will was actually a Nazi propaganda film from that era.  The producers (or editors or whoever) kindly added English subtitles, although there was a lot more marching, flag waving and tedious black and white visuals like "flying about the clouds," than Nazi leaders speechifying.  Speaking of speeches, I think something was lost in translation, because I could not figure out what Hitler said that rallied so many people around him.  Perhaps it is simply my inability to truly understand the culture and the context of the times; but neither am I a nationalist or a flag worshipper, nor do I tend to set people up on pedestals... especially when it's so much more fun to try and knock them down.

Movie: Duplicity

Duplicity could have been a good if it had been edited correctly.  It took a good 30 minutes into the film to figure out what was going on.  Even then it didn't make a lot of sense.  What's more Julia Roberts looked terrible.  It was hard to believe that guy would be interested in her because she was kind of a bitch and she looked kind of dumpy.  To put it kindly, Ms. Roberts is not aging well...but then, who -- besides Betty White -- is?

As usual, if my partner doesn't like a movie, he goes into the other room and plays on the computer.  But I have this anal obligation to see the whole thing through and watch it to the end, that is if I stay awake.  This movie required so much brain work to follow what was going on, I did indeed stay awake.  But, like bad sex, went to bed disappointed, which happens a lot, unfortunately.

Movies that Inspire

There has been only one thing getting in the way of following my dream to be a stand-up comic -- I'm not funny.

But I saw the Southern Belles of Comedy and realized I can do that too:  stand up on stage and say a bunch of stuff that just isn't funny.  Even with Brett Butler, there were very few laughs.  It bored my partner so much he walked away; but as I solemnly watched each pitiful joke I was inspired to follow my dream, and maybe I too can stand up on stage under the scrutiny of bright lights and cameras only to bomb.

Then there's been this other dream of mine to become a filmmaker, and I saw the documentary Objectified which could better used as a cure for insomnia -- but it inspired me too.  In my dreams I make a really great film, but in real life I can't live up to my own standards of perfection.  Objectified showed me (and anyone else who might happen to watch it) that it might be okay to make a really long, boring and pointless documentary -- also to purchase things that are functionally and artistically designed.

Movie: Paranormal Activity, Interview with the Assassin

After I fast-forwarded through the boring first five minutes of the movie Paranormal Activity, it almost had me going.  Almost had me asking the question:  Did this really happen?  Then the Ouija Board caught on fire and I knew it was all a hoax, and the movie galloped downhill the rest of the way.  In fact, I started asking myself another question:  Who's holding the camera?  You will notice in several scenes when the camera is supposed to be on a tripod but somehow manages to follos the two residents of the house into the hall.  Hmm, how did that happen?  An evil spirit?  Or someone else filming the whole thing?

The problem with every mockumentary I've ever seen is at some point they go a little too far and snap me back to reality.  Interview with the Assassin is the best mockumentary I've ever seen.  I had no idea what the movie was and believed it almost to the bitter end, but then the assassin started doing things that just didn't make sense, then I found out the movie was total fiction.

Oh, wait, there's two problems with mockumentaries.  If you know you're watching one, then you absolutely cannot be fooled, unless, of course, you're an idiot, which I am sometimes, but not idiotic enough to believe a mockumentary.

Movie: Midnight Express

Midnight Express is a classic and a reminder for Americans to be careful when they're smuggling drugs out of foreign countries like, hmmm, let's say Turkey.  Maybe Turkish justice has improved since the 70's or perhaps this is just one example why that country is not being welcomed into the European Union.

I had actually seen this movie many years ago and forgot almost everything about it.  When you've totally forgotten a movie, you can see it again be surprised, shocked and horrified all over again.  The only thing I remembered about the film was when the girlfriend visits him in prison and showed her boobs.  Those boobs stuck with me all these years.  Instead of full, round breasts, hers were kind of cylinder and she had great big monstrous nipples -- nightmarish tits.  When the scene came and she was exposing her tits, I said:  I remember this!  And then I made a disparaging remark about her breasts.
My boyfriend said, with his tongue hanging out:  Her boobs are fine.
Then I said something like:  Yeah, her boobs could look like a cow's udder and you'd be fine with that.
Then he said:  That could be interesting.
And then we shut up and watched the rest of the movie.

Movie: Suspicion

It is always interesting to watch a movie made in an era before you were born.  You can see the old cars, admire the fashion and wonder if people were really like that.

In today's world the female lead of Alfred Hitchcock's Suspicion, would not be seen as a realistic person, nor would she be viewed with much sympathy.  She was married to a gambler and a spendthrift who couldn't keep a job, aka a loser, but handsome.  Then and now women fall for that type of guy all the time.  However, in the 21st century she would be seen as needy and weak.  Why didn't she divorce him?  How could she love that?  Perhaps in 1941 maybe she would have been considered strong and loyal.

There are three reasons to watch this movie:
1.  You like classic film
2.  You like Alfred Hitchcock
3.  You think Cary Grant was the most handsome man that ever lived -- which may be true.  However, this movie made me think that Cary Grant may have been gay.  Checking online, my "suspicions" are confirmed.  Get it?  The movie was called Suspicion...I know, I know, I'm not funny.

Anyway, there are better classic films more worthy your time.